BOHU: In 1941, C.S. Lewis published The Screwtape Letters, a series of correspondence from a master tempter, Screwtape, to his nephew and apprentice demon, Wormwood. In these letters we get a glimpse into the devilish thought processes of the two demons as Screwtape counsels Wormwood in a devious sequence of attempts to undermine the life of a new follower of Jesus. Ultimately (spoiler alert), we learn that even the lives of demons are complicated and that Uncle Screwtape would savor Wormwood's failure as much as he would his success.
TOHU: In his preface to the Letters, Professor Lewis essentially asks that we not question how he came by the correspondence because he will not offer us an explanation. In the same manner, we will offer no explanation as to how we came upon this most recent missive. Suffice it say, the letter is intact and it is in our hands. We admit we offer it here reluctantly mainly because we doubt that it is of any constructive benefit. However, after sharing our discovery with some trusted friends, they felt that it was too important to leave locked in a file cabinet, and that we should share this find, if for no other reason than we rarely get such glimpses into the mind of evil.
Wormwood’s Redemption
With both gratitude and apologies to C.S. Lewis
From somewhere in the deepest recesses of hell, Wormwood, Screwtape's nephew and apprentice tempter, has re-emerged. The years of isolation and contemplation have not been wasted ...
My Dear, Most Wise and Far-seeing Uncle Screwtape,
Although you know from where I write, even you may not be capable of conceiving what existence in this oubliette is like. Even you, with your vast experience and in all your eloquence, may not be able to capture the depths through which I have journeyed. I have had what seems to be an eternity to relive every question I asked of you and second guess every decision I ever made. I have simmered, stewed, and boiled over in anger and frustration as I review each page of my existence. No thanks to you, I have endured the torment of unending retrospection and the horror of perpetual introspection. Like a bad song (and contrary to what some believe, the Devil has no good music) wrapping itself around my consciousness, my own memories became an unceasing plague from which there is no cure.
And yet, whether by mistake or design, some of your own words, long forgotten to the world made their way into the cascades of waste in which I have been bathing for so long. In my desperation I called out to you, but you did not answer. There was no elixir, no nepenthe, for me. You left me to brood, alone, exposed, and abandoned.
Perhaps, dearest Uncle, you have even forgotten that kernel of wisdom you once shared with me. On that particular occasion you called me "naif" in my understanding of the human condition. And perhaps you were correct. But you, oh dearest one, in your bloated self-satisfied existence, having failed to heed your own admonition have missed a tremendous opportunity. An opportunity that I, from bowels of hell, have turned into a reality.
Among the many things you wrote me in my last assignment, and I invite to you dredge your memories for a moment and join in this brief but luscious regurgitation, you pointed out that in my naivety I falsely presumed that "argument," or reason, was a tool I could use to keep my prey "out of the Enemy's clutches." (Why you insist on using the deferential capitalization for any reference to the "Enemy" (sic) still baffles me, unless you possibly hold our enemy in some level of esteem? Wouldn't you just relish that bit of trivia getting out into the gossip stream?)
But I digress ...you may have never thought that I could be grateful for what you did to me after that last assignment, but I must say, as foreign as the concept of gratefulness is to the likes of us, I am beginning to understand it, and for that, I thank you, you pompous overbearing fool.
While you apparently have whiled away time and frittered countless opportunities, I, in all my "naivety" have achieved something beyond the limited scope of your comprehension. I have conceived of and am now implementing a means by which any who call themselves "believers" of any so-called faith, can be deceived and "baptized" into waters that will ultimately lead to their own extermination.
But allow me back up a little to let you see how I've set the table. Perhaps you thought I wouldn't remember what you casually wrote to me. The fact that I am here now, writing to and gloating over you suggests that perhaps you didn't even believe your advice to me.
But here's what you wrote, and dear Uncle, I have had ample time to recall this word-for-word. On that assignment, (You do remember, don't you? The young English human in the grips of a second pan-European conflict?) you accused me of presuming that "argument" (reason) could be used to my advantage. You then went on to write, "That might have been so if he had lived a few centuries earlier. At that time the humans still knew pretty well when a thing was proved and when it was not, and if it was proved they really believed it. They still connected thinking (emphasis mine) with doing (emphasis mine, again) and were prepared to alter their way of life as a result of a chain of reasoning. But what with the weekly press and other such weapons we have largely altered that." (Emphasis is emphatically mine.) And you concluded with, "Jargon, not argument, is your best ally ..."
What I have done, my precious and succulent Uncle, is simply invoked the very reasoning that humans have forsaken. Reasoning which, apparently, you also have forsaken. But allow me here, if you can ... if a weekly dose of the press does, in fact, tarnish the enemy-given-gift to humans to think and reason, let's take it a few steps further and imagine what an unrelenting 24/7 barrage of tabloid style "news" could accomplish?
Let me explain in simple terms, oh dim one. Just let them be satisfied with someone else doing their thinking (if you can call it that) for them. Constantly. 24/7. Give no opportunity for reflection or meditation. Prevent even one single original thought from entering or exiting their pea-sized brains. The "press" and now mass media outlets have always been used as propaganda tools and so offer perfect hubs for dissemination. It is a perfect fit. And now, with tabloid style "news" coming at the humans like machine gun fire from these "other such weapons" (I like to think of them as Weapons of Mass Disinformation - my "WMDs") it ceases to be informative or instructional at all. There is no longer even a pretense that these outlets, or "weapons" as you once called them, provide anything even close to legitimate news that is true and helpful. And at this 24/7 pace, delivering legitimate news and disseminating accurate and useful information is not sustainable. Ironically, whatever informative news or investigative reports that emanate from the few remaining legitimate sources are now considered by the masses to be "fake news" and are drowned out by "alternative facts." Maybe it's not-so-much ironic as it was inevitable. My treasured "WMDs," are now pure "jargon" factories. And yes, dearest Uncle, jargon is my best ally.
Further, (and here I am addressing you in an intentionally pedantic tone, as if you might actually be capable of learning something) let all "news" outlets give conflicting perspectives so as to divide the humans' loyalties. Separate friends and split families along fictional ideological lines. Create such divisiveness that armed insurrectionists are viewed not as threats of terrorism, but as heroes offering remedies. Encourage a tribal, "us and them," mentality. Next, add a layer of confusion by claiming "there are good people on both sides." Just sit back and watch their fragile minds implode as they try to hate each other and love each other at the same time.
Let Hypocrisy be their god and guiding light. Watch as their once cherished "reason" devolves into shouts of "Yeah, but ..." (The horse you back did the same thing!) and empty chants of "Prove it!" (When deep down, there is no "reason," no "argument," and certainly no proof that can possibly change anyone's mind.) Deprive them of any need to reason things out for themselves. Convince them that their deity-given rights are being stripped away. Persuade them that their freedom of speech includes the right to piss on someone. (I won't take the time to explain the subtlety of this allusion to you.) Let them all shout into the wind. And let them all atrophy in their self-styled logic-tight compartments.
And finally, now that the table has been set, my dear "naif" Uncle ScrewUp, witness that I have laid at their feet the means by which which faith communities will be tempted to joyfully extinguish themselves. And not only this, but (and here is where I drool ravenously at the possibilities) be forever blamed for countless losses of human life (and a never before seen bull-market for residency in our realm).
They now, in their infinite stupidity, by succumbing to the urging of their "shepherds" and their perceived need for vacuous expressions of faith, deem their large gathering of the faithful as "essential." As if they can't live without it! Their government, at the behest of the faithful (and backed by armed freedom fighters, in cooperation with special interests, and sustained by still hidden agendas), has stroked their egos and labelled them as "strong" and the people best equipped to be the much needed "control groups" as the country weathers the storm. And of course, they believe it. They are the true believers and they are strong.
With their powers of reason buried deeper than Solomon's mines, the human faithful will never realize that they are the "experimental group." They are the sacrificial "guinea pigs," the "lab rats," and the canaries. And they will now be the vectors I will use to spread the plague.
Oh, my sweet pigsnie, my dear, dear Uncle, as I rise to heights beyond that which you ever knew, you may one day have the opportunity to offer me a huge apology and beg my forgiveness. Unfortunately, forgiveness is not what we are best known for. However, take comfort in this blessing: My thoughts and prayers are with you as you are consumed by my triumph and eternally haunted by your blindness and arrogance. And may you one day gain renown as the most dismal failure in all of Hell.
Fondly,
Your nephew, Wormwood
*The words Bohu and Tohu are derived from Hebrew characters found in the creation story. These characters are frequently translated as "Formless and Void" and describe the vast and empty emptiness of the earth prior to the acts of creation. I imagine the personifications of these characters have been around for at least that long, too.
*The words Bohu and Tohu are derived from Hebrew characters found in the creation story. These characters are frequently translated as "Formless and Void" and describe the vast and empty emptiness of the earth prior to the acts of creation. I imagine the personifications of these characters have been around for at least that long, too.
